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“You Lying Bastard”

It’s times like this that I miss my great grandmother tremendously. She was a wild old lady, approximately 5′1″ tall and no more than 100lbs. However, she had a mouth on her that would make a sailor blush. I remember staying home with her during my pre-middle-school years and listening to her curse at the television. She loved to watch soap operas and would constantly cuss at the male leads as they were inevitably cheating, lying, or plotting and she tried as hard as she could to warn their female counterparts. My great grandmother rarely spoke about things outside of her soaps, but there are certain things she would discuss almost religiously. For example, every day during the summer she would stop the snowball man and order a chocolate with extra marshmallow and would always buy another for me (egg custard was my favorite). She would then proceed to crush the ice in the cup for seemingly hours and talk vigorously about the virtues of properly mixing the mallow with the chocolate flavoring. The sound of the plastic spoon crunching the ice is forever burned into my brain. In addition to her ice cream habits, she loved talking about an old wrestler named Gorgeous George whom she once loved passionately. I’m sure that there were days in her earlier years when she would attend wrestling matches and scream obscenities at the other wrestlers opposing GG. I miss my great grandmother, and I hope now she is finding the peace that she never had in life. If there is a heaven, then she’s there now hanging out with Gorgeous George. <br/> -m