Computing Imitates Life

In response to the article entitled PCs Out Sick More Than Users, a Slashdot regular pondered:

    I didn’t RTFA (this is /.), but I wonder what the
    breakdown is for diferrent[sic] operating systems: Linux,
    Mac OSX, OS 9, Windows flavors.

I submitted the following anthropomorphic response.

LINUX is that geeky guy that never takes days off, but instead sits in his lonely office with the lights turned off pounding out incredible amounts of code in record time.

OSX is that hot geek woman that tries really hard to show everyone that she’s not just a piece of meat, but instead has a brain. She never takes off either.

OS9 is that old guy on the edge of retiring who doesn’t give a $hit about doing the job. He goes to the doctor a lot because of cruft, complains about new technology, and talks about the old days to anyone that’ll listen. He takes off quite a bit to visit the urologist.

WINDOWS is that guy who managed to get far in the company by taking pictures of the president of the company with a goat. He doesn’t really do a lot on his own, but instead steals most of his ideas from the hot chick and the old guy and presents them to his superiors. He takes off all the time to play golf, visit his mistress, and to sleep off hang-overs.

FreeBSD is the guy that no one ever talks to. He died last week.

-m