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Hey democrat’s. Wake up!

Jan 27, 2004

Hey democrat’s. Wake up!

As I listen to the evening news my mind picks apart the various phrases spewing forth from my television:
“Dean attacks Kerry”
“Edwards promises obese voters McDonald’s money for their votes”
“Kerry attacks Dean”
“Sharpton illustrates how racist all of the presidential hopefuls are”
“Kerry was JUST a lieutenant”
“I’m not part of the Washington establishment”
“Yes you are!”
“No I’m not!”
blah blah blah.

I listen intently for some sense of a right-wing conspiracy, but it never surfaces. The quotes above, as well as thousands more just like them are coming from the left. WTF?!? “Don’t vote for Edwards… He votes like a Republican.” “Don’t vote for Kerry… He was for the war.” “Yeaaaaaaargh! Nuff said.” “Don’t vote for those guys… They’re racist.”

I suppose this behavior is to be expected. They are trying to win votes afterall. However, the situation highlights a fundamental flaw that I, as an outsider, see within the Democratic party. Before I give up the ghost, let me first illustrate just how the Republicans will exploit the left’s fundamental weakness and win the 2004 presidential election.

Republicans are Borg. Simply said, it has taken many years, but the hivemind that is the right-wing has finally reached mythical status. It’s been years since Ralph Reed has spoke up and plunged his foot into the collective mouth of the right-wing hoards. The Republican are banging on all cylinders, and everyone chants the same line. A beam of concentrated propaganda streams forth from their mouths and rains conspiracy, embarresment, and shame down upon any Democrat ballsy enough to point a finger to the right. The Republicans are a singularity. The Republicans are Borg.

The democrat’s on the other hand are nomads. The democrat’s are tropical foliage. Perpetually in a struggle for sunlight; sprouting in inconceivable directions in hopes of finding scraps of light — other plants be damned! The democrat’s wish to fight the unstoppable Republican FUD machine with promises of social programs and just-becauses. “I’ll be a good president just-because I was a four-star general.” “I’ll be a good president just-because I’m not from DC.” “I’ll be a good president just-because I’m not Bush.” “I’ll be a good president… just-because.” The Republicans are a well-oiled dynamo, and the democrat’s can’t seem to mount any kind of defense in response. Hell, they’ve all but given up trying to blow up the Death Star — they’re content to sell crack and pull drive-bys in their own neighborhoods. It’s Karl Rove versus Michael Moore. It’s Tom Delay versus Stuart Smalley. It’s Dick Cheney versus Madonna. It’s Dean versus Kerry. It’s Edwards versus Dean. It’s Kerry versus Dean and Edwards. It’s the reverend versus everyone.

You guys don’t have a chance.
Wake up democrat’s.

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